Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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