How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize