I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
