I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
if only i could text you this smell
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
