True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
