dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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