I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
