her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
