I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
