Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
