Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
