He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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