he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
