I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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