Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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