i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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