Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
