How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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