bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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