I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
