I'm going to jail i love you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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