No awkward lesbian experiences without me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
