She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would ride that face into the sunset
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
