I think I died a long time ago.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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