I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
