Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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