Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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