am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
