your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You're like the curious george of whores
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My ass is underappreciated
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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