Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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