why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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