Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
