I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
