Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
