Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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