okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
