dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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