So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
