Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
