i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
