whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
