this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
