He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
