Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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