i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
