we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My dick has a subreddit
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
