Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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