You're my little dorito
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
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