She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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