i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
