It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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