hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
