let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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