I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
