I don't think brook has ever known best
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
