you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
